Why Consistency Isn’t About Discipline

For a long time, I believed that consistency was something you either had or didn’t.

If I couldn’t follow through, I assumed I was lazy, unmotivated, or lacking discipline. This was true with eating healthy, working out, taking steps in the direction of my dreams, etc. And every time I started over, the self-trust I needed to stay consistent slipped a little further away.

What I’ve come to understand—both personally and through my work with women—is this: Consistency isn’t a character issue. It’s a nervous-system issue.

When the body doesn’t feel safe being pushed, it pulls back.

Not because you don’t care.

But because it’s trying to protect you from overwhelm, disappointment, or shame it’s experienced before.

This is why pushing harder rarely works long-term, but so many of us keep doing it anyway.

Pressure may create short bursts of action, but it often leads to burnout, avoidance, or starting over yet again.

A gentler path exists.

Consistency grows when we stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?”

and start asking,

“What does my system need to feel safe enough to stay?”

Sometimes that looks like making smaller promises.

Sometimes it looks like resting.

Sometimes it looks like learning how to return without punishment when you drift.

This is the foundation of my work and the heart of Keeping Promises to Yourself—a space where consistency isn’t forced, but rebuilt through safety, listening, and repair.

You don’t need more discipline.

You need a safer relationship with yourself.

And that relationship can always begin again.